As if I wasn’t already feeling old, our marriage went ahead and turned 21 yesterday.
I could go on and on about what I think makes a marriage work. However, the older and deeper I get into my own relationship, the more I realize how irrelevant my opinion is.
There’s no one-way relationships “work.”
The Husband and I talk about it all the time. We’ve had people ask us what “the secret” is, and we give a funny answer or make a joke.
The truth is, I don’t think there is a secret.
There is no doubt luck plays a role in a happy partnership. We talk all the time about how lucky we are to have met. How fortunate we are to see the world in the same way, want to raise our children the same way, and have most of the same taste in music, movies, hobbies, etc.
We complement each other well.
I’m the extravert. He’s an introvert.
He’s the project starter. I’m the project finisher.
I’m the risk-taker. He’s the anchor.
Everything seems to fit into place from that perspective. We are opposites, but we usually see things the same way.
That’s not to say our relationship has been easy.
There’s also no doubt that we’ve worked to get where we are today. We’ve learned how to navigate and support each other. I know to leave him alone when he’s in a bad mood. He’s learned I want him to tend to me when I’m struggling.
We both make time for each other.
We both admit when we’re wrong.
We both apologize and compromise.
A few years ago, we started saying we “love us,” and there is no more accurate way to articulate our relationships.
And then, there’s us.
We just work, and we always have.
A few years ago, I gathered and hunted down a photo of us from each year of our marriage. Every year, I update the album. It’s so fun to look back through the years.
I will for sure post about it, and if you’ve ever been, I’m all ears for recommendations!
Last night we celebrated at home. I made his favorite dinner.
He got me a new whiskey and roses.
We made whiskey sours and enjoyed some wine. After dinner, the kids left us alone (we gross them out anyway). We went for a walk, listened to our mix, and reminisced.
It was low-key and perfect.
I wouldn’t have wanted to celebrate any other way.