I don’t know what’s going on with me.
For the last two days, I have been miserable.
Not just miserable—I feel like a walking contradiction. I’ve been feeling lonely, yet I don’t really want to interact with anyone. And when I do, I usually regret it. Questioning why I said something or, in the worst case scenario, feeling even lonelier after the interaction.
Work has been rough, too. We are in the fourth week of classes, and despite my best efforts, my students still aren’t interacting with me. About 40% of them are failing because getting them to submit work is nearly impossible. It’s so draining.
Since only about half of my programming students submitted their first assignment, I asked my class this week: If you hired a personal trainer but didn’t follow their advice, would you be upset if you didn’t get stronger?
And they all nodded, definitely understanding what I was getting at. In another class, I recorded a video providing detailed feedback on one of their assignments, and a whopping 6 out of 24 people watched it after two full days.
I’m trying so hard not to fall into the what’s-the-point crowd. I don’t want to just phone it in, but it feels like everyone else is. Why should I care so much?
Ugggggggghhhhhh
I hate feeling like this—total funkfest.
Let’s move on to the foodfest because that’s way more fun!
A Valentine’s Day Dinner Party
This past weekend, I hosted two dinner parties.
The first was a Saturday Valentine’s dinner with friends. I pulled together a fun Italian-inspired menu because I enjoy having a goal of sorts.
We kicked off the night with Bellinis and a charcuterie board.
Next up, a roasted pear salad.
Inspired by a recipe on America’s Test Kitchen, I was really happy with how it came out. I mean, you can’t go wrong with pear, bacon, pecorino, and a maple-based dressing over some crisp Romain!
The next dish was the star of the night, and I’m so proud of myself because I made it totally from scratch.
That’s heart-shaped ravioli made from fresh pasta dough that I colored with a bit of beet powder. Inside was honey and ricotta with a touch of oregano and thyme.
After boiling the ravioli, I tossed them in brown butter and sage and, for a final touch, topped them with crumpled crispy prosciutto.
I was so proud of that dish!
Our main course was homemade chicken marsala over pureed parsnips. Since we had a pasta course, I wanted to keep this dish light, and the parsnips were a fun supplement for potatoes or noodles. Regardless, we needed something for this awesome sauce.
And finally, dessert. Again, inspired by American’s Test Kitchen, I made chocolate peanut butter brulee.
It felt like the right choice to end a Valentine’s Day feast.
I may have done all the work, but this guy totally stole the show.
Anytime we have people over for dinner, Marsh will sit at the table and wonder why he’s not getting a plate.
It’s super cute.
It was a great night overall, and again, I am so thankful for friends who help me stay sane.
Sunday Dinner with the Family
Preparing for Saturday’s dinner party left me with little energy to cook on Sunday, but that was the only day my extended family could join us for dinner this month. So, I bit the bullet, made a pot of sauce in the morning, and then served some store-bought stuffed shells.
It was a success! And my niece Judy approved.
2025 Goal Check-in
See, now, after recapping my fantastic weekend. I’m stuck wondering why I’m stuck in funkville. I’m trying to focus on the things in my control, but I can’t help but feel helpless, hopeless, alone, powerless, defeated? ugh. I don’t even know anymore.
- Blog Weekly.
- so far… ✔️
- Paint More. Don’t overthink it.
- so far…✔️ (I’ve been slacking!)
- Make a new handmade pasta monthly.
- Jan ✔️ ✔️
- Feb ✔️ ✔️
- Hike at least twice a month.
- Jan ✔️
- Feb (didn’t go yet. 🙁
- Perform one unassisted dip.
- Down to the ORANGE BAND!!
- Perform five strict pull-ups.
- Training! (did one strict this week!)
- Handstand walk.
- Training!
- Take at least three yoga classes a month.
- Jan ✔️✔️✔️
- Feb ✔️✔️
- Make homemade sourdough bread.
- ✔️✔️✔️OMG I did it!✔️✔️✔️
- Take the kids to Iceland (planning is in the works!).
- Plane tickets and first night accommodation booked!
- Fix the holes in my house (long story, lots of plumbing issues this year).
- Two holes down, two to go!
- Continue my Spanish Streak on Duolingo (I’m on day 1,231!!).
- so far…✔️ day 1280!
- Take a Spanish class in person.
- Class starts in two weeks.
- Plan something special for The Husband’s 50th birthday!
- Research underway!
- Snatch 125lbs.
- Training underway! Current snatch situation.
- Compete in at least one weightlifting meet.
- no progress
- Walk a minimum of a half-mile daily with Marsh and, preferably, with the Husband, but I can’t base my goal on him.
- 45/50 days so far this year.
- Track my movie-watching on Letterboxd.
- so far…✔️ Just updated the two I watched this week – Click here to see!
- Keep my citrus trees alive! (I have a lemon and a lime tree I named Laverne and Shirley. Laverne is not doing too well after a disastrous root rot issue this fall, but we are doing our best.)
- so far…✔️ I’m a little worried about them!
- Host an extended family dinner monthly.
- Jan ✔️
- Feb ✔️
- Clean out and organize my closet and drawers.
- no progress.
- Thrift more and purchase no brand-new clothes.
- so far…✔️
- Take daily supplements more consistently.
- so far…✔️ keyword “more,” I’ve missed a few days
- Reduce alcohol consumption to once or twice a month.
- Jan ❌ 1/18, 1/23, 1/31 (close!)
- Feb 2/1, 2/15
- Cook one new recipe/dish a month.
- Jan ✔️
- Feb ✔️
12 replies on “From Foodfest to Funkfest (w07)”
EVERY single February, I go into funk mode. It took years to realize that this happened every.single.year. I blame it on the time of year. We’ve come through the shorter days of the year and are not quite yet to the longer days with more sun exposure. I cannot tell you how many times my doctor started me on antidepressants in Februarys. I’m not saying that is what is going on with you, but maybe?
I used to teach a weight loss support group that let me down when folks didn’t show up. We take it personally, like it was all our failures. It isn’t. It’s just life.
So, hang in there and do your WYC-WYC. Hugs kiddo. (Your 70 year old follower from WAY back!)
I’ve been using WYC WYC with this writer’s class I’ve been taking this last month. I was trying to figure out a good time to write- morning or evening and nothing was working. And then I said, well let’s try the ol’ WYC WYC and see if I can make that work. And just having the writing more front of mind made me commit to sitting down and getting used to just doing in whenever I can for a few minutes at a time. Thanks Roni!
That’s SO awesome!!
Hi Sherri! Of course I remember you! And I think the taking it personally is just a biproduct of actually caring. I just need to remind myself I can’t care more than they do.
These are classic symptoms of depression. If you’re not already doing so, a therapist can provide some perspective and tools to help.
I have tried and tried! Finding a therapist can be so challenging!
It is that time of the year to be in a FUNK! Great job on a lovely dinner party!
Thanks, old friend!
Wow, what a beautiful gift to your friends to prepare such a lovely dinner. I understand what you were saying about being able to objectively understand that you just recounted two lovely dinners with people you care about… and not understanding how you can still feel lonely, sad, etc. I don’t have an explanation but I know that we can contain multitudes! So many emotions. Then I’ll follow that up with what my mom always says, “This too shall pass.” And “The only constant is change.” I’m glad you shared how you’re feeling on here. I love hearing how your goals are going.
So true! It will pass. It always does.
Roni – your feelings are relatable. I work in academic advising at a NJ medical school. I love it and find the interactions with students very fulfilling. Just sharing that some student roles can be great. Its tough when you feel down. Hang in there and know many of us who love your blog are with you.
I appreciate it! Every semester I have a handful of students that make it all worth while and I just focus on them. It helps. I’m learning to take it a lot less personally as I get older, it’s just draining now.