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2025 Goals Journal

Invisible Responsibilities (w34)

I can’t believe it’s only Wednesday. This week is dragging.

Ev and I are still finding our new groove now that classes have started. He’s adjusting to high school, though, like many kids, he “hates school,” which breaks my heart. I remember enjoying parts of high school, but the culture feels different now.

My students echo the same sentiment. No one seems to have an interest in doing anything, and it’s exhausting when you are in a position to motivate, whether as a parent, a teacher, or, in my case, both.

The weight of motivating the young people in my life feels like this heavy, invisible burden that I carry through the world. Part of me wishes I didn’t care so much, but I also know that caring is what makes me a better parent and teacher.

I reread my post about patience before the semester to get into the right mindset. I’ve done my best to set the tone in all my face-to-face classes, but I already have students strolling in late, sending me incoherent emails, and missing the first two sessions of class.

WHO THINKS MISSING THE FIRST WEEK OF CLASSES IS OKAY?!

Ugh. I can’t focus on it, nor can I care more than they do.

This past weekend, I read Carla’s post, “Consistency and the Empty Boat.” Here’s an excerpt:

I’m still here.
Still steady.
Still managing the structure, the logistics, the emotional tone of daily life.

Some days, I feel good about that.
Other days, it feels like everyone else is moving forward and I’m the one holding things in place so they can.

It’s not a meltdown. It’s not a crisis.
It’s more like a low-grade frustration that builds in the background until I catch myself snapping at things that don’t really matter.”

She mentions “feeling frustrated about responsibilities no one else sees,” and boy, did that phrase hit me like a ton of bricks.

I often feel her “low-grade frustration,” and I have the hardest time articulating it to my family.

If I didn’t plan dinner, what would we eat?

If I didn’t pay the bills, what would happen?

If I didn’t plan family get-togethers, would we ever see them?

If I didn’t buy toilet paper, would we be able to wipe our asses?

I’m purposely being cheeky with that last one, but you get the idea.

I’ve gotten better at letting things go, but I can’t say I’m that great at expressing my frustration to the family. I’m working on it because, like Carla, I catch myself snapping at the little things that don’t matter.

I also know that many of these responsibilities are self-imposed, but that doesn’t immediately remove the crushing pressure I feel or the invisible load others don’t seem to notice.

Phew.. I just let out a pretty big sigh. Writing all of that was actually therapeutic. Sometimes, you just need to get the thoughts out so they don’t fester.

I’m gonna leave you with this picture of a happy puppy who absolutely loved that I persuaded the Husband to hit the trails over the weekend to reach this month’s goal of two hikes.

2025 Goal Check In

  1. Blog Weekly.
    • so far… ✔️
  2. Paint More. Don’t overthink it.
    • so far… ✔️
  3. Make a new handmade pasta monthly.
    • Jan ✔️ ✔️
    • Feb ✔️ ✔️
    • March ❌
    • April ✔️✔️
    • May ✔️
    • June ✔️
    • July ✔️
    • August ✔️ (made fresh linguni this weekend for Seafood Sunday!)
  4. Hike at least twice a month.
    • Jan ✔️✔️
    • Feb ✔️✔️
    • March ✔️ ✔️
    • April ✔️✔️
    • May ✔️✔️✔️
    • June ✔️ ✔️
    • July ✔️✔️
    • August ✔️✔️ (See above) 🙂
  5. Perform one unassisted dip.
    • Still training.
  6. Perform five strict pull-ups.
    • Still on singles.
  7. Handstand walk.
    • Still training.
  8. Take at least three yoga classes a month.
    • Jan ✔️✔️✔️
    • Feb ✔️✔️✔️
    • March ✔️✔️✔️
    • April ✔️✔️ ❌
    • May ✔️✔️✔️
    • June ✔️✔️✔️
    • July ✔️ ✔️ ❌
    • August ✔️✔️✔️
  9. Make homemade sourdough bread.
  10. Take the kids to Iceland.
  11. Fix the holes in my house (long story, lots of plumbing issues this year).
  12. Continue my Spanish Streak on Duolingo (I’m on day 1,231!!).
    • so far…✔️ day 1466 (losing motivation)
  13. Take a Spanish class in person.
    • I’m now looking at synchronous online options.
  14. Plan something special for The Husband’s 50th birthday!
    • I BOOKED IT!
  15. Snatch 125lbs.
    • More confident in this goal now.
  16. Compete in at least one weightlifting meet.
  17. Walk a minimum of half a mile daily with Marsh and, preferably, with the Husband, but I can’t base my goal on him.
    • This is now a habit. We walk every day unless it’s raining.
  18. Track my movie-watching on Letterboxd.
  19. Keep my citrus trees alive!
    • so far…✔️
  20. Host an extended family dinner monthly.
    • Jan ✔️
    • Feb ✔️
    • March ✔️
    • April ✔️
    • May ✔️
    • June ✔️
    • July ❌ (But we went out)
    • August 👌🏻 (Mom hosted to give me a break)
  21. Clean out and organize my closet and drawers.
  22. Thrift more and purchase no brand-new clothes.
    • so far…❌ I caved. Purchased about five new items this year.
  23. Take daily supplements more consistently.
    • so far…✔️
  24. Reduce alcohol consumption to once or twice a month.
    • Jan ❌ 1/18, 1/23, 1/31 (close!)
    • Feb 2/1, 2/15 ✔️
    • March 3/22 ✔️
    • April 4/25, 4/26 ✔️
    • May 5/3, 5/10 ✔️
    • June 6/7, 6/19 ✔️
    • July 7/14 ✔️
    • August 8/9, 8/22 Dinner party! You can see the details on IG.
  25. Cook one new recipe/dish a month.

5 replies on “Invisible Responsibilities (w34)”

This post is so spot on. I’m a teacher too, and I’m really starting to lose my patience with not only students, but parents. Is it generational? Is it due to social media? I don’t have a clue, but it definitely is extremely frustrating.

I hate saying this, but it does help that I am not alone with these feelings. I’m already exhausted an we didn’t finish the first week of classes yet!

Roni! Don’t know if you remember me from back in the old blogging days (Crabby McSlacker of Cranky Fitness). I retreated from the online world for a number of years, and I’m so ambivalent about resurrecting my blog, but there was something so therapeutic about it so I’ve just started again. Is it crazy? But seeing that you are out here still, being inspirational, and blogging… well, it gives one hope. (As to the invisible responsibilities, I’m childless and don’t have many, but somehow I feel constantly behind on the few I have!)

Of course, I remember you! If it’s crazy, then I’m also in the loony bin. I committed to posting weekly this year to help reach some goals, and here I am. It’s so different these days, and I’m not as passionate as I once was… but like you, I find it therapeutic. I’m off to check out your blog!

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