I thought a few days away at The Arnold would be refreshing. Instead, I’m in full zombie mode, and I hate it.
I feel like I’m moving through the world with no purpose. Okay, that’s a bit dramatic, but you know what? This is my blog, so I’m going to throw myself a pity party.
First, I have run out of patience with my students. Every semester, I try so hard to relate to them. I design fun projects. I let them submit music and play it during class. I try to talk movies and pop culture with them. Simply put, I do my best to understand and connect.
At the end of the day, I don’t need them to like me, but the lack of respect is disheartening. After two months, I still barely get eye contact when I say good morning. I’m only human, so I’ve built up a bit of a callus, and I’m starting to disengage. Not to the point of not teaching. I’m just not trying so hard to connect anymore.
Second, The Husband is stressed about his job as they make changes to their structure. That’s been weighing on us. I hate that we’re both dealing with work stress at the same time, but I love that we have each other to lean on.
Third, I’m coming down from the high of completing a training cycle and competing. I cannot stress how proud of myself I am because this cycle was rough. I had to overcome some muscle imbalances that were causing pain. I haven’t been lifting as heavy as I used to, which is mentally challenging. And overall, I’ve been really fatigued.
Given all that, I showed up, stayed calm, and had a BLAST… which is my number one goal for every competition. Oh! And I medaled! I didn’t even know until the drive home, so I have no pictures. My coach will mail them to me, and I’ll be sure to share them when they arrive.
The best part of the weekend, though, was spending time with Mom. We road-tripped to Columbus, a seven-hour drive, and wandered around The Arnold for a couple of days without a care in the world. My soul definitely needed that time with her, and I feel blessed she was able to come with me.
Also, she is my good luck charm. I have medaled at every event she has attended!
So maybe I should stop with the self-pity, because when I step back and reflect, I have a lot to be grateful for.
(I’ll revisit goals next week. I’ve made no real progress!)
7 replies on “Pity Party with a Side of Pride (y02w11)”
Hi Roni, I have followed you for decades and really appreciate all you post. Although I don’t teach, I hear you on trying to connect or get students interested. It’s such a different world now than when we grew up. Hang in there!
It really is! And I never thought I’d think that as a adult, yet here I am. lol
As a former CS student myself, I think I would’ve appreciated you as a professor (even though I may have been too shy to say so at the time).
Appreciate that! I can see many of my students are shy, those are the ones that warm up after a few weeks!
Love this, it’s so relatable. Well done, woman!
Thank you! 🙂
I just asked my son who’s a new teacher. He just started last fall semester, teaching at a local university. He said he sees some of the same things with his students and promptly blamed social media for the kids not being engaged in their studies. He feels his students are there for the ‘paper’ and not to learn how to actually DO things. He constantly has to deal with AI papers being turned in as well. So it certainly isn’t just you. It’s the current generation.
My husband recently went through a period of time at his work where he thought for sure they were going to lay him off, mostly due to his age. (he’s 65). Until we sat down and figured out what we would do if that happened, we were both VERY stressed out. Now we have a plan with several ways of handling things if he were to be laid off. Being prepared for the worst, made dealing with the present, a LOT easier!
So guess what? You’re normal!
We are currently dealing with several health issues and have said so many times, how nice it was that we have each other to whine to, cry with, talk over, and commiserate with each other. I am glad you have a husband like that too.
As others have said, hang in there. hugs to ya!