This morning at the gym our strength portion was handstand push up (HSPU) work.

Let me start by saying I’ve been CrossFitting for six years now and I still can’t do a damn strict HSPU. I’m not going to lie, this bothers the shit out of me, but considering I didn’t start doing anything even remotely athletic until I was in my thirties, I guess I’ll cut myself some slack.

I mean, just kicking up into a handstand on the wall was a huge accomplishment that took me few years to master. Here’s a screenshot from my old FaceBook page celebrating my first ever handstand on the wall in 2014…

Now I do it effortlessly…

This morning I decided to have my coach film my attempt, so I could see how close I was getting to the bottom. See, my problem with the HSPU isn’t strength. It’s confidence while descending. I’m so friggin’ scared of being upside down and injuring myself that I approach it like a sloth on Valium.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Negatives are a great way to build strength and body awareness. I know I’ll get there. I just have to keep on working at this weakness.

In addition to HSPU, there are two other weaknesses I seem to be perpetually working on.

Pull Ups

If you’ve been following me for some time you know my history. It took me nearly four years to be able to do a strict pull-up and they still elude me.

Some days I can effortlessly do a few. Other days I’m lucky to get my chin over the bar for one. I now incorporate at least a few strict every other day or so. If I don’t, I lose them. Fast.

Back Squat

In comparison to all my other lifts, my back squat is my weakest by far. Like most things, I believe it’s partially a confidence issue, but I’ve been stuck at basically the same weight for three years now!

According to ExRx, I’m square in the Intermediate zone for this lift. However, in every other category, I’m at or approaching “Advanced” status as I should be. “Advanced” is described as

An individual who has trained multiple years.

Of course, all of this shouldn’t matter but it does. I’m enjoying the pursuit of strength more than I ever thought I would. And as I mentioned earlier, I’m addicted to the feeling of accomplishing things I once thought reserved for more talented, stronger, athletic people.

I’ve come to realize most of those more talented, stronger, athletic people, are just people. People who weren’t afraid to keep working on their weaknesses.

Published by Roni

A 40ish - wait, what?! - Mom who loves to try new things, share her adventures, and inspire people to reach their goals.