I hinted in my previous post about some news, and I’m now ready to come clean. “Clean” isn’t the right word, but it feels a little like that since I’ve been keeping a few things to myself these last few months.
Today is my last day as an Instructional Technologist at Peabody.
This is my second resignation in two years.
Gosh, that sounds horrible when I say it out loud, but it’s true. I’m terrible at keeping (well, staying at) full-time gigs.
Both my last two positions started out the same — I was excited to take on some responsibility, join a team and feel productive. The first few months at each job were fantastic! Getting up to speed, learning the systems, meeting my co-workers. I truly enjoyed the experiences, but both also had their challenges, and over time I would become disenchanted and unhappy. Then I’d wonder why I was wasting time doing something that doesn’t make me happy when I have a family at home I could be spending more time with and passions I could pursue that truly fulfill me.
After many months of soul-searching, I decided, I had enough. That’s when I started to put things in motion:
- I rebuilt GreenLiteBites. A much needed (although not lucrative) creative outlet for me.
- I got ACE certified as a Personal Trainer and applied at a local gym.
- I reached out to old colleagues about teaching at the Community College again.
On paper, I know I have it all: a good job, fantastic benefits, and a stable full-time salary. I know many people who would love to be in my position. For Pete’s sake two years ago that’s all I wanted, and it took me nearly two years to get it!
I came across this illustration by searching “I quit” in google images.
The post it comes from is called “I Quit” (go figure), and it resonated with me. The author talks about not quitting just because things get hard and it made me ponder.
Is that what I’m doing?
Am I’m just quitting this position because things got hard?
Did I leave my last job when it got hard too?
Maybe. Maybe staying is/was the right decision but in both cases, I left because it didn’t feel right. Mostly, I felt trapped, unproductive and oddly, underutilized.
Quitting is what feels hard.
As I type this, I still feel a little insane for resigning. I know I’m going to end up working more and making less, but you know what? I also know I’ll be happier. I’m ecstatic about being home more with the kids. The idea of being in the classroom again is exciting. And I’m already inspired in the kitchen, cooking and creating more.
I guess only time will tell if this was the right decision, but I have a feeling my future self will look back with no regrets.