I’m fighting every urge to call this the “Hey! I’m still alive!” post.
That’s such a cliche blogger thing to do, isn’t it?
I’ve probably already done it at one time or another.
Actually, I’m sure I have.
Anyway, I am here, and I am still alive. However, I’ve been keeping myself pretty busy.
And I don’t mean busy like omg-my-life-is-so-crazy-and-I-can’t-handle-it busy. I mean busy as in I’m too engaged with family and my job to really focus on anything else right now.
I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I think I’m:
Yes, that’s it.
Sometimes I think we (people? women?) are not wired to accept content. We’re either looking for the next thing to accomplish, comparing ourselves to others, or struggling with guilt while refusing to allow ourselves to be happy.
At least that’s the cycle I feel like I’ve been in most of my life and my old blogs weren’t helping.
Taking down those websites was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made, but removing that content was necessary. I needed to stop comparing myself to myself, let go of the past, and move forward.
Not to mention, my time and energy were needed elsewhere.
For starters, I have two amazing, pain-in-the-ass boys that need me. This year they turn 7 and 13. Between school work and social activities, complex emotions and life-skills these ages are exhausting!
I feel like the kids need less of my time but require way more energy. Does that even make sense?
I’ve also been more focused on my marriage and relationships. The husband and I plan more nights out with friends. We have people over for dinner. We make time for each other while pursuing our own hobbies. Today is our 23rd “dating” anniversary, we’ll be married 17 years this April, and I think our relationship is the strongest it’s ever been.
My family is far from perfect, but we are making it work.
Oh! And as for actual work, omg, can I talk about work for a minute? My new job, the one I started in October, is insane! I am engaged from the time I walk in the door until the moment I leave. I don’t think there is a better job suited for me. I mean, sure, it has its problems like every position does but I’m challenged, I’m appreciated, and I’m solving problems — nothing makes me happier than solving problems!
This all leads me back to that word: content.
It’s taken me some time to get to this place, and I think I want to stay awhile.
This quote really does capture it for me.
Allowing myself to be content is actually helping me grow. It sounds counter-intuitive but it’s true!
That “Thankful for what you have” part. That’s key for me.
Gratitude is something I’ve been working on with the kids lately. Evey day at dinner we go around the table and say at least one thing we are grateful for. Sounds cheesy, I know, but truth be told I think it’s helping all of us be happier and more content.
Right now I’m grateful I got some time to focus on writing this post. It’s been in my brain for some time.
Miss you guys!