Breaking My Blogging Silence

I’m awful at keeping secrets — like, incredibly bad at it. I just don’t know how not to be an open book which is why I have a hard time blogging when I have things I need to keep on the down low for whatever reason.

Well, it’s time to come clean.

I so need to unload.

A good old brain dump if you will.

This ones gonna be a doozy.


OMG, I don’t even know where to start!

First, let’s talk about this photo.

That was the drawing my doctor used to explain the full hysterectomy I will be having done next month.

Oh, how that sounds weird to say out loud still.

But it’s happening. They’re taking my uterus, fallopian tubes, and cervix. At first, my doctor went through a few options with me, but once she saw the sonogram, she changed her tune. My ovaries are staying unless they notice anything out of whack when they get in there. So that’s good. Apparently, when they do remove your ovaries it’s called an Oophorectomy — ya learn something every day!

So, I don’t know how I feel about this. On the one hand, I’m relieved to know I’m not crazy. The back pain, cramping and increasingly more intense periods are not in my head. Those circles the doctor drew on the diagram represent my fibroids. The large one has grown pretty significantly over the past two years which coincides with when I started noticing my symptoms.

On the other hand, I’m nervous as hell. Surgery is never fun — the recovery time, the potential for complications and being totally honest here, life without a uterus! What in the heck is that going to be like?!

I guess there’s never good timing when it comes to medical things but this procedure is also happening right smack dab in the middle of a job change for me.

This new job was the other keep-on-the-down-low things that’s been holding me back from blogging. I haven’t been happy with my current position for a multitude of reasons. The most important one being the actual work. Being a Marketing Manager sounded great on paper, but in all honesty, it’s just not my cup of tea. I need a more technical position. One where I can solve problems, develop and be creative.

Well, I think I found the job of my dreams!

Today I officially accepted an Instructional Technology (what I have my masters degree in BTW) with the Peabody Institute, a prestigious conservatory, and university in the Mount Vernon area of Baltimore.

Here I am in their amazing library while waiting for my interview last week.

I was so impressed by the campus, the team and the job, I left inspired. I followed up immediately and then again a few days later. I was trying not to be too aggressive, but after talking to a few people who know the school and know me, they all agreed — it’s a perfect fit.

This week I was carrying the stress of letting my current employer know I was leaving. I knew it was the right thing to do for me, but that doesn’t console my inner-pleaser who hates to let people down.

I’ve been stressed for a couple of weeks now with all these balls in the air, but as of today, I have the last day date at my current job, a surgery date, and a start day for my job. All this makes me very happy and relieved even though I’m still nervous about, ya know, losing my uterus and all.

The next two months are going to quite a roller coaster ride. I’m already stress-eating. My morning workouts have helped me stay somewhat sane, and I’ve been having fun with the new strength program we’re following. That said, I’m distraught over the recovery time of this surgery. I’m looking at six weeks at least.! I haven’t taken that kind of time off from the gym in years!

I forsee a lot of walking in my future. 🙂

In other news… 

  • I fixed that pesky spam issue with a new plug-in so comments SHOULD post correctly now. Sorry about that.
  • My bowling league started back up! I have a whole new team. This is the third year I’m in a league, and I must say, I love it!
  • I started a family running streak. This needs its own post it’s so awesome! I’ve been sharing updates on my Facebook Page I’ll post more about it next week.
  • The kids have started school, and we took our annual photos again. I shall leave you with these so you can nod in disbelief like am.

More soon now that I’ve gotten all that off my chest!

40 comments On Breaking My Blogging Silence

  • Wow! Almost too much for me to process…sounds like you have a handle on it all and are fine. Take care girlie, I’m rooting for you. Xxxooo, Chris

  • Life without a uterus will be fabulous! No monthly visitor! I’ve never regretted it!

  • Good luck on your surgery. I had it done a year and a half ago. Best decision. I feel so much better in all aspects of life. Finally able to lose a little weight too. My advice would be to take the full 6 weeks to recover. At week 5 I was finally able to shower without getting tired. I found a long series to watch on netflix to keep me entertained. Oh and I did freezer meals for crockpot or oven so i didn’t have to cook for a while. You will not regret this decision. 🙂

  • Wow, I’ve been following you for a long time and you are always full of surprises! I think you are good at keeping things under your hat. This is very big news. Good luck with all these changes! I’ll be thinking of you!!

  • I had a hysterectomy two years ago next month after 5 years of intensely heavy periods. Like two pad a hour flooding nightmares. I was only 44 but my blood counts had dropped so low I was in danger of needing a blood transfusion. I was diagnosed with adnomyosis.

    Long story short absolute best thing I ever did. Totally improved my quality of life. Having said that it is a six week recovery mostly bc of the heavy anesthesia. I’m not a napper and I’d have to take at least two naps a day even with 8+ hours sleep. Embarrassingly one of those naps was even at my desk at work when I went back too soon.

    Congrats on the new job. Happy for you.

    • YES! This is what’s happening. For a good 3 nights, I have to wake up every 2 hours just to keep up with it. During the day it’s an hourly ordeal. It’s really starting to affect me in others ways too.

  • What can we do to help you during your surgery? Can we send some blue apron carts or get groceries delivered or buy you something on your Amazon wishlist?

    You give so much to us, your readers!

  • Whoah. That is huge news – both the job and the surgery.
    Respect the six week recovery for definite. I have no experience of such a big op but even the recovery from my wee hernia op took so much time. The general anaesthetic makes you feel crappy for ages. Shaky, and emotional, and cold sweat-y. Just be mentally prepared for that as it took me by surprise.
    And I’ve no idea what your new job title even means, but if it gives you the chance to even walk through that beautiful library, sounds good to me!

    • That library will be right over my head daily. 🙂 I’ll be working with faculty there to help train them on technology. It’s totally up my alley. I’m so excited!

  • Good luck to you Toni. I have followed you for years. I know you will come through just fine and you being you. Will probably help others with your shared experience after its over. Good luck on the new job too! (side note. The Bing photo of today was the Peabody staircase) it certainly is beautiful. I wish you all the best always.

  • *roni. Damn spell check

  • I had my hysterectomy back in 2009 like you I felt nervous about life without a uterus. However, I must say I don’t miss it at all and I wear a patch for hot flash control mine was a total hysterectomy due to fibroids and bad ovaries. Try to get some meals cooked and frozen up ahead of time. I went in to the surgery in really good shape and that helped with recovery too I think. I wish you well on your new job and listen to your body you only get one chance to heal well.

  • Hope all goes well with all of this stuff! So much going on, I feel stressed for you. Seems like you have a wonderful family so I’m sure all of the boys (young and old) will rally and take care of you! Sending light and love.

  • Wow, all of that must’ve been killing you not to blog about! Congrats on having the courage to switch things up and CONGRATS on landing your dream job!!! I feel like I need a tshirt or something that says, “If Roni can, so can I!” You have continued to inspire me in every aspect of life, via inbox, ever since your video about a giant daily jug of cucumber ice water on GLB’s…with your long hair and “the toddler” Ryan stomping around offscreen in those days!! I miss those videos!!! Whatever happened to those earlier vids and blogs?!!
    I’m so sorry to hear about your health issues. Please check out a website called hystersisters that really helped me get through such a life changing surgery (I had a laparoscopic radical hysterectomy also leaving the ovaries in) for diff health reasons than yours. There’s so much support and a wealth of great tips from a community of women, both in articles and in a forum. It really was a huge help to me to be able to lean on before, during and post-op!
    Fave tips: Bring a pillow for behind your back and another to hug for the car ride home. Also, prep 10-14 frozen bags of ready to go crockpot meals and foil trays of precooked meals that hubby can easily make and clean up. It felt like overkill beforehand, but it turned out to be such a relief! One more tip…pamper yourself a few days before! Get a mani, pedi and wax legs and all the pits! I’m not usually a waxing type but I was super glad I did!
    Anyways, I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers! Wishing you a speedy recovery!!!

  • I understand the problems and symptoms that led you to the doctor and now hysterectomy. I also had fibroids and all the fun that comes with them. I had my surgery in July 2002, kept one ovary (hope not too much TMI), I was 38 at the time and I will say it was the best thing I could have done, I can make plans now, not carry around supplies and a change of clothes, etc. Wishing you a speedy recovery, pamper yourself before (I see that comment above my typing now). Lots of good thoughts your way! Congratulations on your new job too!

  • All that hard-won core strength will help a LOT with recovery! Congrats on the job – onward and upward!

  • Oh Roni,
    I have been a long time reader and had a feeling when you mentioned in the past the issues you were having this would be next.
    You did not say if it was laproscopic or open abdominal and maybe you wish not to….but I lived this all 1.5 years ago so it is plenty fresh in my mind yet. I went in for a routine physical and my doctor found a fibroid that had grown to the size of a NFL football. I had seen numerous doctor before for three years and none of them would listen to me and my symptoms so when she found it I was relieved and yet VERY scared. However, by that time it had grown so large I was facing an open vertical incision that is not small!!!!
    Everyone recovers differently but myself being a big gym person, active hiker, and at the time a whitewater kayaker… was life changing and I needed 10 weeks total before I was released back to work. (My job is very physical).
    I want to wish you the best…..and if you have any specific questions please feel free to contact me. I had the same exact organs removed as you are facing and my ovaries were left after the surgeon got in there and deemed them healthy looking.
    Stay strong…..and rest…..really rest…..really!

  • Roni, sorry to hear you have to have surgery! I have read your blog for a long time but don’t comment often. Just wanted to wish you the best and let you know there are a lot of readers supporting you behind the scenes! Your mention of the job really touched me. I am in the same boat, haven’t been at my new job for long, but it’s just not for me. Thanks for giving me hope that there’s something else out there. I am a people pleaser too and hate the thought of bailing. Good luck with everything coming up these next few months, I will be thinking of you.

  • By now everything has already more than blown over for you. I am praying for both you and your family.

    I hope you post more soon!


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  • I had a hysterectomy last year–was able to keep one ovary–because of adhesions, adenomyosis and a large cyst. I feel so much better. My digestion improved, no more lower back pain–it was starting to get constant, not just at that time of the month–and just overall I feel better. Be sure you’re ready to REST. I am notoriously bad at resting, my husband practically had to sit on me sometimes to get me to go back to bed and not do any housework. The more you rest the first six weeks–no lifting, twisting, reaching, bending–the better your chance of avoiding adhesions. I was anxious about how I’d feel about not having a uterus, but now weeks go by where I don’t really think about it.

  • Sending you light and love and hope for a speedy recovery!

  • It will be a year this Friday that I had a partial hysterectomy (left my ovaries) at the age of 37. Mine was robotic laproscopic and went as planned without complications and I was back to work after 2 weeks. I hope yours goes as smoothly.

  • I just had the exact surgery on 6/26. Best decision ever! Mine was abdominal (they used my old tummy tuck scar). You are going to be so happy that you did it. Best of luck to you!

  • I have been following you since Ryan was a little guy helping you out in the kitchen when you filmed videos. It feels like I have seen him grow know what I mean. You look like you haven’t aged a day since the first grade picture. Good luck with the surgery and congrats on the new job!

  • Roni, I’ve been following forever and just wanted to say best wishes on the surgery and congrats on the new job! Also, good work on the running streak with the family. As for downtime, I sprained my ankle two weeks ago and have at least another two to go before I can do any serious activity and it is driving me a little nutty! I’ve tried to cut out snacking in between meals while I’m not doing much moving to help me keep the calories in check.

  • I had a hysterectomy two years ago, you’ll do great! I struggled for most of my adult life with lots of problems and after our 3 boys, we knew our family was complete & it was time! I had a good experience, a couple small side effects, but nothing compared to all the issues! I gained 5 lbs after surgery and it’s been a struggle to get back to where I feel better, but cutting sugar AGAIN (it’s like I’m new, ha!) and going in the right direction.
    Good luck! And, yay for the new job! Sounds exciting!

  • I hope all goes well with your upcoming surgery. I had a laparoscopic hysterectomy with a vaginal assist for a huge fibroid and lots of endometriosis. I kept my ovaries. I woke up in recovery room after seven hours of surgery and could barely believe that I had surgery. After an overnight stay I went home and really felt pretty good. I did have some tolerable pain that was well controlled by Norcos. I really should have had it sooner, as I had been quite miserable for the two years prior.

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