Ask Roni: You Gained Weight. Doesn’t That Bother You?

So glad you like your new work so much. I must ask though, and please don’t take offence, I am just wondering, it looks like you have gained about half the weight back from those figures… does that not bother you and are you going to do something about it? Been following your blog for many, many years.


Fiona is referring to the screenshot I posted in yesterday’s post that said I weighed 160 pounds…

Screen Shot 2017-02-24 at 6.06.07 PM

I was glad she asked this question as this is something I’ve been wanting to blog about for sometime but I just haven’t been motivated. I answered her in a comment but decided to share it here as a post because it really explains where I am at the moment.


I’m not sure how to respond without sounding offended even though I’m really not. So bear with me as I’ve been meaning to post about this but it’s just not my focus anymore.

First, I don’t know how much I actually weigh at the moment. I hopped on the scale for the first time in years last month but decided again I don’t care about it. There’s no reason to monitor a number that doesn’t serve me any longer.

My highest weight was about 220 lbs and my lowest 135. At 220 I was inactive and ate like crap. When I reached my weight-loss goals and was in the 135 range I was still pretty inactive but I ate slightly better. However, I also ate very little. Following Weight Watchers back then I, on average, only consumed about 20 points a day, which roughly translates to 1,000 calories.

I knew I couldn’t maintain that way of eating forever so I started working out and running, and over the years (10 years — isn’t that crazy?!?) I have really gotten into weight training and lifting.

Now, in my 40s, I’m the most active and fit I have ever been in my life. My weight fluctuates around 10 pounds in that 160ish range. I eat nutritious foods but really don’t deny myself anything. I workout daily, constantly pushing myself to lift heavy and make progress on personal fitness goals. I have decided that those two things (a nutritious, unrestricted diet and an active lifestyle) are way more important to me than what a scale says and how thin I am.

It took me a long time to get to this place of peace with my body. I’m not trying to starve myself into slimness or change its aesthetic to match what media has told me it should look like. My body is the result of my lifestyle and I’m living exactly the way I want.

So the short answer is… no, it doesn’t bother me.

25 comments On Ask Roni: You Gained Weight. Doesn’t That Bother You?

  • Roni,

    Thanks for your gracious answer and sharing this on the blog. I”m 27, have been reading your blog since 2012 when I underwent a lifestyle change, and I have finally (over the years) come to a place where I eat intuitively, exercise regularly for enjoyment, and don’t obsess about my weight or even weigh myself.

    However, my boss just went on a weight loss journey and lost 110 pounds. I work in an office with 5 health obsessed individuals always bragging about how many calories they burned and latest diet restrictions. All they care about are the numbers on the scale, or the calories logged – and it seemed so unhealthy and is almost triggering to me since I have shed those unhealthy ways of thinking about food and my body – i’ve been orthorexic and its bullshit.

    Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you. You are a huge inspiration and reading Fiona’s question above really PISSED ME OFF. If she’s been reading your blog for years she wouldn’t have asked that. Who even cares what you weigh – YOU’RE HEALTHY AND FREE AND YOU LOVE YOURSELF AND INSPIRE OTHERS! I just feel like its a trap – why talk about something something so insignificant as weight(muscle) gain when we have all gained so much more through your empowering journey of self actualization.


  • Love this!!! ❤️ I have been following you for a very long time and have loved watching your transformation. You’re a huge inspiration!

  • Love this response also! As an almost 40 yr old crossfitter who has lost over 100# from my highest weight- I’m damn proud to see my weight listed on the CF leaderboard at 179. Why? Because it used to be 285- and the only leaderboard I was on was NONE. Moving, lifting, LIVING is what this is all about. The number on the scale is dead to me 🙂

    Good luck in the open!!

  • Jackie (the shamrock shake wycwyc'er)

    I love this. Good that she asked, if she had been wondering, and that you feel confident in your response and life. Everyone’s journey is their own and it’s normal and ok to be in different places in life.

    I love how you’ve determined what’s important and what isn’t and are living your best life. My journey has been similar to yours but am still striding to find my sustainable weight/size and life. But you’ve helped me see that it’s not all about the numbers and the scale.

    Thank you for your voice and for sharing it with us. You’re awesome.

  • Roni, you are a class act. I couldn’t comment more beautifully than Haley, she said it all! I love this post (not what Fiona said, but what you said).

  • Don’t you agree that the muscles make your body look and feel so good that it’s worth it to weigh a few more pounds and wear a bigger size?

  • Great answer! Ditto the others. Your lifestyle and attitude are an inspiration. ❤️

  • Seriously, you are my hero! I have the utmost admiration for you! You rock!! Been following you since your oldest was a toddler!

  • So sad:( Some people like Fiona have no clue! The mere fact she had the temerity to ask you such a question about your life indicates the level of insecurity she has in hers.
    I see she has NO concept of the density of muscle vs fat. To her, it’s just about a meaningless number.

  • I love where you are right now. I would always always prefer stronger and healthier (both physically and mentally) to thinner!! You’re awesome!

  • I think we should give Fiona a break! It is a good question, I myself struggle with. I started with a goal weight met it but then had surgery, death of a family member, depression to follow. Once I started again I made the decision to be strong not skinny, but at times the scale or the way my jeans fit scares me. But I focus the big picture and Roni your blog helps me do that. Thank you!

  • I’m trying to get comfortable with ignoring the number but unfortunately society and good meaning doctors who use the BMI system don’t help. It is great though when it clicks! Life is so much more free when you break the connection to arbitrary numbers…

  • Claude is right, the muscle to fat ratio makes a world of difference. I’m around 200 lbs and I crossfitted for about 2 years. I lost no weight, but the transformation from fat to muscle made a huge difference in my appearance. When I started a new job, I haven’t made the time to go the gym for about a year + and the change in my body is super obvious. Even though I have not gained any weight, losing that muscle made a world of difference. I am so impressed with Roni’s PR numbers and how they keep going up, I can only imagine how solid & small she is due to all that muscle!

  • YESSS! You never cease to inspire and empower us Roni! ((GIANT HUGS)) I hope we can all get there with you one day. That freedom and feeling good about yourself in your own skin is truly a blessing!

  • I’m a slave to the scale and really trying to stop it. Your story is an inspiration.

  • Just want to add my ditto to the others comments. I am a long time reader and admirer of your blog. Thanks for all of the inspiration and information.

  • God bless you for saying it so eloquently.

  • Great answer!

  • I remember when I was losing weight after my son was born, I went to the doctor to help me set a goal weight. I felt like the Weight Watchers goal was not reasonable. At the time I was lifting heavy weights pretty regularly. She asked me what I weighed in high school (115) and then did a body mass test. At the time my lean body mass was the same as what I weighed in high school! I had never been an athlete until I joined the Army, and clearly I had put on a significant amount of muscle. That helps remind me that the scale can be useful, but at the end of the day it’s only 1 tool and there are others factors I need to consider.

  • I am shocked by her question and here’s why: she said she’s been reading your blog for years. If that was really true, she would have seen that you have already addressed this many times. How when you lost all the weight you got very thin but were not eating enough and did not feel strong. How since you started CrossFit and other strength training, and put away your scale, you feel so much better (and you look awesome too!).
    I mean, seriously, this has been a recurring theme for years for you. So I am not sure if she really is a long-time reader, or just said that to appear like a “friend,” but she clearly does not understand the things you blog about. (hey Fiona, does that not bother you, and are you going to do something about it?)
    No matter how politely she tried to put it, and how graciously you answered it, it really was rude (in addition to being unbelievably clueless). But it allowed you to show once again how classy and fabulous you are 🙂

  • I completely understand Fiona’s question because as someone who has worked very hard to lose weight & get close to goal, I wonder how you truly dealt with regaining any amount of weight. No, I do not think you’re overweight. But I admit when I do see a gain it does bother me. I am in awe that you no longer track your food. I still do & I am not sure if I will ever truly stop. But I am coming to the realization that I may need to accept a weight that I can do by a lifestyle change I can maintain for the rest of my life.

  • the person asking that is a total bitch the end. stupid question. you were far more gracious than she deserved.

  • Hi Roni, I don’t have instagram, but wanted to comment on your latest soup photo you posted and say that your Family is soooo lucky. Saw that picture and WISHED someone cooked like that for me! To have someone dote on them by cooking healthy meals is such a great gift!

  • Really liked this, as I am just starting my journey and my perspective is much the same, as long as I am healthy I am not going to worry too much about the weight. But this doesnt mean I can go back to my old (2 week ago) habits of constantly overeating even if I somehow lose weight.

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